Okay, so I wanted to talk about "Taking The Path Less Followed" so much that I began writing this post a month ago. And then, about five days ago, I lost it. Don't ask me how. I'm not exactly sure. But anyone who works with computers on a daily basis knows there are countless things that go wrong with these mind boggling programs of ones and zeros, and there isn't a damn thing we can do about it except hire a personal IT manager. I can't afford a personal IT person, so I'm stuck with being stuck.
So I'll pretend I'm over the loss and move on. Although I don't think the trick is trying to remember what was written before. The trick is not allowing the seething anger of losing the post to close my mind. In turn, allowing the catastrophic frustration from the loss of a month's worth of work open my creativity and produce a different, but hopefully equally interesting and emotional result. Well, that's the idea anyway. Or maybe the trick is only to dampen the seething anger long enough to allow a few coherent thoughts to filter through. We'll see.
I cannot remember the epic way in which I opened this post previously, so I suppose I'll just blurt it out. I'm getting seriously irritated with those ridiculously sappy and simplified meme's that flood our Facebook pages and Twitter and Instagram feeds about how we should all "take the road less traveled" or "go where there is no path and leave a trail." Apparently everyone likes to read them; there are enough going around. I have a similar quote from Emerson on this website. But they're utter bullshit, and I'll tell you why.
From my earliest memories I was the kid who didn't want to do what everyone else was doing. If they were playing hopscotch, I wanted to play hide and seek. If they were playing hide and seek, I wanted to play tag. I wanted to walk down the street no one wanted to walk down. I chose a different high school than the rest of the kids in my neighborhood and followed a different path than most of my friends when school was over. Some might call this contrarianism. And I suppose it is. To them. To a degree. But, for me, being different was never a choice. I never wanted to desire opposite things, wants and values from the group. It's just who I am.
I can't remember the age I became dissatisfied with my religious upbringing and chose to find the meaning of the Universe on my own. I only remember always being dissatisfied. And the ramifications of leaving christianity follow me to this day.
I began writing a book without any formal schooling or even urging from individuals telling me how great or poor my writing was.
I became a vegetarian at 36 years old. I've since become vegan, and aside from a co-worker/friend of my husbands, and my husband and children, I'm still the only vegetarian/vegan in my intimate circle of friends and family.
I went to school and became a cosmetologist, but stayed home to raise my two sons at a time when it was completely frowned upon to do so. I was a young woman in a feminist world. We girls had choices now. We had the power and were expected to use it in the work force. I didn't, and I've gotten many a judgmental glare for that particular choice.
Then my son, despite being nursed, got a string of horrible ear infections, and I wasn't satisfied with the way western medicine was handling the situation. So I searched the internet for alternative forms of medicine and began my long and completely exhausting journey into the well of Homeopathy and Herbalism
I starting growing food without the benefit of help from my peers or knowledge of family and friends. No one I knew grew food except the odd tomato or pepper plant.
Time and time again I chose a path less followed, a path of most resistance, a path that was essentially closed to me until I used my knife to open it. This isn't by design, I assure you. It comes from some kind of chip or nick in my psyche that won't allow me to be satisfied with the norm, the status quo, the average. To this day I don't understand why I can't follow the crowd.
I used to judge quite harshly. In my mind I wondered why so many people didn't realize conventional medical doctors didn't give a shit about their care. Why didn't people truly understand vegetarianism or veganism had to do with the horrific way we treat our animals, before and while they're slaughtered. Or with the colossal burden of so many 'food' animals wreaking havoc with our soil. The same soil we need to grow other types of food to survive! How did everyone not see monotheistic religions as utter usurpation of other more forgiving and loving spiritualities? How do they all not see it?!
But as I've aged, a truth, I think I have always know has come into focus. Plain and simple, the road less traveled is horrible. It's steep. It's loaded with bugs, weeds, and thorns. It's boiling hot. It's freezing cold. And it's hard as stone. The only thing I'll grant you is that the view is nicer — less populated. But can the view make up for the difficulties in trudging into the forest equipped with just your ideas and a small knife? I don't know, because I've never taken the road most traveled to compare.
We're always given to believe that the person who leads is the better person. But time and time again we see that the person who carves out his or her own path isn't better than the average. Actually we see that many leaders do cruel or horrible things. So they aren't better, they're simply different, with different ideas which force them down different paths because you aren't allowed to go down the path most followed when you're ideas are different. So then is being different better? Is that why so many people are trying to be different with each selfie they churn out, not realizing they're doing the exact same thing as the person next to them.
Then there's the idea that many people in charge are sociopaths. That the only way to get ahead in life is to not care about the feelings or considerations of others; as an empath I find this line of thought difficult. And I'm not sure how true it is. But it does seem we've set up our cultural society to be this way, at least partially. The group will never give the individual a chance unless she goes through the proverbial trials of fire proving she's the best. But the best at what? Fighting? Pushing others to the side to achieve a goal? I have a theory that those kinds of people don't really choose the path less followed. They stick to the common path and fight their way to the top. But I think that's another topic.
We're told, from an early age, that cutting our own path is what's most important in life. Be a leader. Don't follow the pack. Go down that winding dark road no matter how scary, because there are rewards at the end of that road. We're promised it! But when I wrote a book I took out my knife and began my journey down that long, vine ridden, tic infested writing trail. And when I got to the end I was told unique doesn't matter. "Unique doesn't sell. If you write stories like everything popular in your genre we can work with that. But different? Unique? No, that's not what we're looking for." You must run with the pack to succeed. Then what do I gain on the road less followed? What kind of success is at the end of it?
After years of people watching I truly don't believe 'unique' is what anyone is looking for. Unless someone is writing a parable or a poem. We all enjoy reading about the insanely strong willed person that took the road less traveled, the path riddled with obstacles, because we've been told it's the path that is worthy. It's the path that will teach us all the secrets of life. So then why do so many people still take the road that is defined and easily seen. Because that road leads to others like them. That road leads to friends and family and camaraderie and loyalty and warmth and caring and support. It's clear to anyone who questions it why the majority of us start down the road most traveled. I’m beginning to think the memes are created by people like me. People lost on the road less traveled. We have to say something to justify our choices, don’t we? We have to give some reason we aren't sitting at the popular lunch table.
In the end, I haven't any words of wisdom. Because I haven't picked any up on a life path so riddled with obstacles I can't see the ground I’ve trodden over. And despite trekking along the road less traveled for so many years I still don't have any more answers than anyone else. I think I have more battle scars. And I think I'm a bit more worn out from life. I know I'm more cynical. But I don't know that I know more that the average human. I don't know that the less traveled path gave me wisdom just by being on it. Maybe it tried. Maybe I missed it while using my knife to cut the branches that were poking me in the eyes.
The reason most other folks don't take the road less traveled is because it's easy to travel behind the guy in front of you. It's easy to follow. And you know what? There isn't anything wrong with that. The path populated with people can be fun and exciting and fulfilling. Just because a lot of people are there doesn't negate its usefulness or purpose. If the reward in life is the journey then I would imagine that a journey down the road most populated would leave you able to concentrate on more things than just getting the debris out of your way. And that sounds like a good time.
If I had to sum up my thoughts I'd say this. When you come to the fork in the road and you have to make that decision on which path to follow, think very hard and very carefully. Take your time and decide what you really want your life to look like. Think about how you want to live. Fight that contrarian if you have to. Because the view from both paths has merit. But there is no doubt that the road less traveled is more difficult to be on. If you chose it, try to cut a detour into the road most traveled every once in a while. Your heart, and your feet, will thank you.
But please, will meme makers everywhere stop tossing around the whimsical notion that the path less traveled will deliver riches and knowledge to anyone smart enough or strong enough to walk it. It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t give up its secrets any more freely or any easier than any other path.
And don't even get me started on the "Life is too short to be anything but happy" bullshit. Because . . . who told you you were supposed to be happy?
So I'll pretend I'm over the loss and move on. Although I don't think the trick is trying to remember what was written before. The trick is not allowing the seething anger of losing the post to close my mind. In turn, allowing the catastrophic frustration from the loss of a month's worth of work open my creativity and produce a different, but hopefully equally interesting and emotional result. Well, that's the idea anyway. Or maybe the trick is only to dampen the seething anger long enough to allow a few coherent thoughts to filter through. We'll see.
I cannot remember the epic way in which I opened this post previously, so I suppose I'll just blurt it out. I'm getting seriously irritated with those ridiculously sappy and simplified meme's that flood our Facebook pages and Twitter and Instagram feeds about how we should all "take the road less traveled" or "go where there is no path and leave a trail." Apparently everyone likes to read them; there are enough going around. I have a similar quote from Emerson on this website. But they're utter bullshit, and I'll tell you why.
From my earliest memories I was the kid who didn't want to do what everyone else was doing. If they were playing hopscotch, I wanted to play hide and seek. If they were playing hide and seek, I wanted to play tag. I wanted to walk down the street no one wanted to walk down. I chose a different high school than the rest of the kids in my neighborhood and followed a different path than most of my friends when school was over. Some might call this contrarianism. And I suppose it is. To them. To a degree. But, for me, being different was never a choice. I never wanted to desire opposite things, wants and values from the group. It's just who I am.
I can't remember the age I became dissatisfied with my religious upbringing and chose to find the meaning of the Universe on my own. I only remember always being dissatisfied. And the ramifications of leaving christianity follow me to this day.
I began writing a book without any formal schooling or even urging from individuals telling me how great or poor my writing was.
I became a vegetarian at 36 years old. I've since become vegan, and aside from a co-worker/friend of my husbands, and my husband and children, I'm still the only vegetarian/vegan in my intimate circle of friends and family.
I went to school and became a cosmetologist, but stayed home to raise my two sons at a time when it was completely frowned upon to do so. I was a young woman in a feminist world. We girls had choices now. We had the power and were expected to use it in the work force. I didn't, and I've gotten many a judgmental glare for that particular choice.
Then my son, despite being nursed, got a string of horrible ear infections, and I wasn't satisfied with the way western medicine was handling the situation. So I searched the internet for alternative forms of medicine and began my long and completely exhausting journey into the well of Homeopathy and Herbalism
I starting growing food without the benefit of help from my peers or knowledge of family and friends. No one I knew grew food except the odd tomato or pepper plant.
Time and time again I chose a path less followed, a path of most resistance, a path that was essentially closed to me until I used my knife to open it. This isn't by design, I assure you. It comes from some kind of chip or nick in my psyche that won't allow me to be satisfied with the norm, the status quo, the average. To this day I don't understand why I can't follow the crowd.
I used to judge quite harshly. In my mind I wondered why so many people didn't realize conventional medical doctors didn't give a shit about their care. Why didn't people truly understand vegetarianism or veganism had to do with the horrific way we treat our animals, before and while they're slaughtered. Or with the colossal burden of so many 'food' animals wreaking havoc with our soil. The same soil we need to grow other types of food to survive! How did everyone not see monotheistic religions as utter usurpation of other more forgiving and loving spiritualities? How do they all not see it?!
But as I've aged, a truth, I think I have always know has come into focus. Plain and simple, the road less traveled is horrible. It's steep. It's loaded with bugs, weeds, and thorns. It's boiling hot. It's freezing cold. And it's hard as stone. The only thing I'll grant you is that the view is nicer — less populated. But can the view make up for the difficulties in trudging into the forest equipped with just your ideas and a small knife? I don't know, because I've never taken the road most traveled to compare.
We're always given to believe that the person who leads is the better person. But time and time again we see that the person who carves out his or her own path isn't better than the average. Actually we see that many leaders do cruel or horrible things. So they aren't better, they're simply different, with different ideas which force them down different paths because you aren't allowed to go down the path most followed when you're ideas are different. So then is being different better? Is that why so many people are trying to be different with each selfie they churn out, not realizing they're doing the exact same thing as the person next to them.
Then there's the idea that many people in charge are sociopaths. That the only way to get ahead in life is to not care about the feelings or considerations of others; as an empath I find this line of thought difficult. And I'm not sure how true it is. But it does seem we've set up our cultural society to be this way, at least partially. The group will never give the individual a chance unless she goes through the proverbial trials of fire proving she's the best. But the best at what? Fighting? Pushing others to the side to achieve a goal? I have a theory that those kinds of people don't really choose the path less followed. They stick to the common path and fight their way to the top. But I think that's another topic.
We're told, from an early age, that cutting our own path is what's most important in life. Be a leader. Don't follow the pack. Go down that winding dark road no matter how scary, because there are rewards at the end of that road. We're promised it! But when I wrote a book I took out my knife and began my journey down that long, vine ridden, tic infested writing trail. And when I got to the end I was told unique doesn't matter. "Unique doesn't sell. If you write stories like everything popular in your genre we can work with that. But different? Unique? No, that's not what we're looking for." You must run with the pack to succeed. Then what do I gain on the road less followed? What kind of success is at the end of it?
After years of people watching I truly don't believe 'unique' is what anyone is looking for. Unless someone is writing a parable or a poem. We all enjoy reading about the insanely strong willed person that took the road less traveled, the path riddled with obstacles, because we've been told it's the path that is worthy. It's the path that will teach us all the secrets of life. So then why do so many people still take the road that is defined and easily seen. Because that road leads to others like them. That road leads to friends and family and camaraderie and loyalty and warmth and caring and support. It's clear to anyone who questions it why the majority of us start down the road most traveled. I’m beginning to think the memes are created by people like me. People lost on the road less traveled. We have to say something to justify our choices, don’t we? We have to give some reason we aren't sitting at the popular lunch table.
In the end, I haven't any words of wisdom. Because I haven't picked any up on a life path so riddled with obstacles I can't see the ground I’ve trodden over. And despite trekking along the road less traveled for so many years I still don't have any more answers than anyone else. I think I have more battle scars. And I think I'm a bit more worn out from life. I know I'm more cynical. But I don't know that I know more that the average human. I don't know that the less traveled path gave me wisdom just by being on it. Maybe it tried. Maybe I missed it while using my knife to cut the branches that were poking me in the eyes.
The reason most other folks don't take the road less traveled is because it's easy to travel behind the guy in front of you. It's easy to follow. And you know what? There isn't anything wrong with that. The path populated with people can be fun and exciting and fulfilling. Just because a lot of people are there doesn't negate its usefulness or purpose. If the reward in life is the journey then I would imagine that a journey down the road most populated would leave you able to concentrate on more things than just getting the debris out of your way. And that sounds like a good time.
If I had to sum up my thoughts I'd say this. When you come to the fork in the road and you have to make that decision on which path to follow, think very hard and very carefully. Take your time and decide what you really want your life to look like. Think about how you want to live. Fight that contrarian if you have to. Because the view from both paths has merit. But there is no doubt that the road less traveled is more difficult to be on. If you chose it, try to cut a detour into the road most traveled every once in a while. Your heart, and your feet, will thank you.
But please, will meme makers everywhere stop tossing around the whimsical notion that the path less traveled will deliver riches and knowledge to anyone smart enough or strong enough to walk it. It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t give up its secrets any more freely or any easier than any other path.
And don't even get me started on the "Life is too short to be anything but happy" bullshit. Because . . . who told you you were supposed to be happy?
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